How to Plan Your Own Funeral in NSW: Complete Checklist
"Learn how to plan your own funeral with a practical NSW funeral planning checklist covering burial or cremation, service preferences, costs, funeral wishes, prepayment options and how to share your plan."
Learning how to plan your own funeral can help you make your preferences clear before someone else has to make those decisions after your death. You can record whether you want burial or cremation, the type of ceremony you prefer, music, readings, cultural or religious wishes, who you would like involved and how you would like costs handled.
You do not have to prepay for a funeral simply because you want to plan ahead.
You also do not need to decide every detail.
For some people, a useful funeral plan is only one page:
“I want to be cremated, I would like a small non-religious service, please play these two songs, and my family knows where this document is kept.”
For others, the plan may cover the entire ceremony.
NSW Government recommends writing funeral wishes down and sharing them with close family or friends because this can help the people arranging the service understand what you wanted.
This guide explains how to create a clear, practical funeral plan in NSW.
How to Plan Your Own Funeral: 12 Steps
1. Decide Whether You Prefer Burial or Cremation
One of the first decisions is what you want to happen to your body after death.
In NSW, the deceased must ultimately be lawfully buried or cremated, although a formal funeral ceremony itself is not compulsory.
Your choice may depend on:
Personal preference
Religion
Culture
Family tradition
Existing cemetery arrangements
Cost
Memorial preferences
Environmental considerations
If You Prefer Cremation
Think about whether you want:
Attended cremation funeral
Private viewing before cremation
Direct/no-service cremation
Memorial after cremation
Particular wishes for the ashes
If You Prefer Burial
Consider:
Cemetery
Existing family grave
Graveside funeral
Natural burial
Type of memorial or headstone
Whether an interment right already exists
You do not need to make the decision based on what other family members have traditionally chosen.
Record what matters to you.
2. Decide Whether You Want an Attended Funeral
You are not legally required to have a formal funeral ceremony in NSW.
Possible arrangements include:
Large attended funeral
Small family funeral
Private invitation-only funeral
Graveside service
Direct cremation
No-service burial
Memorial after burial or cremation
Celebration of Life
Cemeteries & Crematoria NSW also distinguishes between:
Single Service
One ceremony location without guests proceeding to a separate cemetery or crematorium service.
Dual Service
The ceremony begins at one location and then proceeds to the cemetery or crematorium.
Graveside Service
The ceremony takes place entirely beside the grave.
Memorial
The gathering occurs after burial or cremation.
Write down which arrangement you prefer—or which ones you definitely do not want.
3. Decide Whether You Want a Viewing
A viewing is optional.
You might want:
Private family viewing
Viewing before an attended funeral
Viewing before cremation
No viewing
If you do want viewing, record:
Who you would like invited
Whether it should remain private
Clothing preferences
Any cultural or religious requirements
Whether you want particular personal items present
If you're considering cremation, Black Tulip's current Viewing & Cremation option provides private viewing before cremation.
If you do not want a viewing, write that down as well.
4. Choose the Style of Funeral or Memorial
Think less about labels such as “traditional” and more about what you actually want.
Your service might be:
Religious
Secular
Cultural
Formal
Informal
Family-only
Community-based
Celebration of Life
Simple cremation service
Graveside farewell
Consider the tone.
Would you prefer:
Quiet and reflective?
Formal and structured?
Focused on stories and music?
Religious?
Short and simple?
A larger gathering?
You can also specify things you do not want.
That information may be just as useful.
5. Choose a Preferred Venue
Possible venues can include:
Funeral home chapel
Crematorium chapel
Place of worship
Cemetery
Graveside
Home
Garden
Private secular venue
Appropriate public space
CCNSW recognises many of these locations in its NSW planning checklist.
If your preferred location is:
A beach
Park
Private venue
Family property
do not assume it will automatically be available.
Permissions, capacity and practical requirements may need to be checked.
You may want to record:
First preference
and:
Alternative venue
in case circumstances change.
6. Choose the Personal Elements of the Service
This is where your funeral plan can become more specific.
You might decide on:
Music
Choose a few songs.
CCNSW's planning checklist specifically suggests thinking about several pieces of music in advance.
Record:
Song title
Artist
Exact version where relevant
When you want it played
Readings
You might select:
Poem
Religious passage
Personal letter
Original writing
Other reading
Eulogy or Speakers
You can nominate people you would like to speak.
You may also write:
“Please do not pressure anyone to speak if they do not want to.”
CCNSW specifically includes choosing eulogy speakers and even writing your own obituary, eulogy or story among pre-planning options.
Flowers
You might specify:
Favourite flowers
No flowers
Native flowers
Charity donations instead
Photographs and Visual Tribute
Consider:
Which photographs
Slideshow
Family video
Memory table
Personal belongings
Dress
You might request:
Traditional funeral attire
Particular colour
Informal clothing
Sporting colours
No dress preference
Food and Gathering Afterwards
CCNSW also suggests planning preferences for food, drinks, reception or wake.
You can keep this simple.
7. Record Cultural or Religious Requirements
If cultural or religious practices matter to you, write them specifically.
Do not rely only on:
“Give me a Catholic funeral.”
or:
“Follow our culture.”
Instead, where possible, specify:
Place of worship
Clergy or religious leader
Required prayers
Timing requirements
Body-care requirements
Music
Readings
Burial or cremation preference
Dress
Family/community roles
The more specific the information, the less family members need to guess.
If you have a religious or community leader you want involved, record their current contact details.
8. Think About the Cost Before Committing to Anything
Planning your funeral does not mean you need to purchase it immediately.
You can first document:
Type of funeral
Burial or cremation
Service style
Viewing
Coffin preferences
Flowers
Venue
Other extras
and then investigate the cost.
Current NSW Government guidance says funerals average approximately $5,000 to $8,000, but actual costs depend on the service and provider.
When comparing providers, ask for:
Price list
Package price
Individual service prices
Third-party disbursements
Transfer charges
Cemetery or crematorium charges
Coffin/casket costs
Viewing costs
Venue fees
Total estimated amount
NSW Fair Trading requires funeral directors to disclose prescribed pricing information and provide an itemised quote before you enter into an agreement.
Do not compare funeral providers only by the headline package price.
Compare what the package actually includes.
9. Decide Whether You Want to Prepay
This is a separate decision from planning.
You can:
Plan without prepaying.
Or you can investigate financial arrangements such as:
Prepaid funeral
Funeral bond
Savings
Funeral insurance
Estate funds
These products work differently.
Prepaid Funeral
NSW Fair Trading describes a prepaid funeral as choosing funeral services and paying for them in advance under a contract.
Funds for NSW prepaid funerals are held through registered funeral funds, and funeral directors must provide information about what the contract includes and excludes.
A NSW prepaid funeral contract has a 30-day cooling-off period.
Before signing, check:
Exactly which services are included
Which services are excluded
What happens if you move
What happens if you die interstate
Whether the plan can be transferred
What happens if circumstances change
Payment arrangements
Cancellation rights
Any fees or commissions
Funeral Bond
A funeral bond is an investment specifically intended to help pay funeral expenses.
It is different from a prepaid funeral contract.
Funeral Insurance
Funeral insurance involves paying premiums for a benefit payable after death.
Moneysmart advises people to read funeral-insurance terms carefully because ongoing premiums and cancellation conditions can make these products work very differently from prepaid funerals or funeral bonds.
Do not assume that all products labelled “funeral plan” work the same way.
10. Understand How Funeral Wishes and Your Will Work
This is one of the most important legal distinctions in how to plan your own funeral.
You can include funeral wishes in your Will.
But in NSW, most funeral directions in a Will are not legally binding.
Legal Aid NSW states that an executor should try to follow the deceased person's wishes, but most funeral directions can be changed where, for example, they are impractical or unaffordable.
Important Cremation Exception
A written direction that you are not to be cremated must be followed.
NSW law prohibits cremation where it would be contrary to a written direction left by the deceased.
Do Not Keep Funeral Wishes Only in Your Will
NSW Government specifically recommends communicating funeral wishes separately from your Will because the Will may not be found or read until after the funeral has already occurred.
A more practical approach is:
Write the wishes clearly.
Give a copy to someone you trust.
Tell your executor.
Keep the current version somewhere accessible.
You may also include relevant preferences in your Will, but do not rely on the Will as the only place they exist.
11. Tell the Right People About Your Plan
A funeral plan that nobody can find is not very useful.
Tell at least one or two trusted people:
“I have written down my funeral wishes.”
and:
“This is where the current copy is stored.”
People you might tell include:
Partner
Executor
Adult child
Sibling
Trusted friend
Other close family
Funeral director if you have a formal arrangement
NSW Government recommends sharing your plans with close family or friends.
What Information Should They Know?
They should know where to find:
Funeral wishes
Will
Relevant contact information
Prepaid funeral contract if one exists
Cemetery/interment documents
Funeral bond or other arrangements
Relevant religious/community contacts
You do not need to distribute sensitive financial documents to everybody.
The important thing is that an appropriate person knows they exist and where to find them.
12. Review Your Funeral Plan When Circumstances Change
Your funeral preferences may change.
Review the plan if you:
Move interstate
Change relationships
Change religion or beliefs
Change funeral director
Buy a cemetery interment right
Enter a prepaid contract
Change your service preferences
Update your Will
Change your nominated executor
Change important family contacts
CCNSW specifically notes that after-death plans can be updated when your preferences change.
Do not keep several contradictory copies.
Mark the latest version clearly:
Updated: [date]
and remove or archive outdated instructions.
Funeral Wishes vs Advance Care Directive
These documents deal with different periods.
Funeral Wishes
Explain what you would like after your death.
For example:
Burial or cremation
Funeral
Music
Speakers
Religion/culture
Memorial arrangements
Advance Care Directive
Relates to healthcare decisions while you are alive if you cannot make or communicate those decisions yourself.
NSW Government treats Advance Care Directives and funeral wishes as separate parts of end-of-life planning.
Do not rely on funeral wishes to communicate healthcare treatment decisions.
Should You Plan Every Funeral Detail?
No.
You can decide only the things that matter most.
A short plan could say:
Cremation. Small secular service. No viewing. Immediate family and close friends. Please play my three nominated songs. No flowers—family may choose a charity if they wish.
That gives substantial guidance without designing every minute of the service.
Another person may want to document:
Exact coffin
Venue
Celebrant
Eulogy
Order of service
Readings
Music
Flowers
Wake
Ashes
Both approaches are valid.
Black Tulip Options to Consider When Planning Ahead
Black Tulip's currently published packages provide three different levels of involvement around cremation.
No Service Cremation
Black Tulip's No Service Cremation is an unattended cremation with no formal service or viewing. A memorial can be arranged separately afterwards.
This may suit someone whose funeral wishes prioritise simplicity or a later memorial rather than an attended cremation ceremony.
Viewing & Cremation
Viewing & Cremation provides private time viewing the deceased before cremation.
This may suit someone who wants their family to have the option of a private viewing without arranging a larger attended service.
Attending Service & Cremation
Attending Service & Cremation allows family and close friends to attend a cremation service.
If you're documenting one of these options in advance, record the type of arrangement you prefer, but family should still confirm current package inclusions and pricing when the service is ultimately required.
Your Own Funeral Planning Checklist
Use this checklist when deciding how to plan your own funeral.
Burial or Cremation
Burial
Cremation
Natural burial interest
Existing burial/interment right
Cemetery preference
Crematorium preference
Ceremony
Attended funeral
Private funeral
Graveside service
Direct/no-service cremation
No-service burial
Celebration of Life
Memorial later
Wake/reception
Viewing
Viewing wanted
Private family viewing
No viewing
Clothing preference
Personal items
Venue
Funeral chapel
Crematorium
Cemetery
Place of worship
Home/garden
Other venue
Backup venue
People
Celebrant/clergy
Eulogy speaker
Other speakers
People to notify
People to invite
Music and Readings
Entry music
Reflection music
Closing music
Readings
Prayer/spiritual content
Poems
Personal Elements
Photographs
Slideshow
Personal belongings
Flowers
Charity request
Dress preference
Funeral stationery
Livestream/recording preference
Culture and Religion
Religious requirements recorded
Cultural requirements recorded
Relevant leader/contact named
Timing requirements recorded
Body-care preferences recorded
Memorialisation
Ashes preferences
Urn
Scattering preference
Cemetery memorial
Plaque/headstone
Other memorial
Costs
Current prices researched
Package inclusions reviewed
Disbursements reviewed
Itemised quote obtained before contract
Payment method considered
Prepayment
No prepayment wanted
Prepaid funeral investigated
Funeral bond investigated
Funeral insurance reviewed
Cooling-off/cancellation terms understood
Moving/interstate terms understood
Documents
Funeral wishes written down
Current date added
Executor informed
Family/trusted person informed
Will location known
Funeral plan location known
Old copies removed
Questions to Ask a Funeral Director Before Pre-Planning
Before signing any agreement, ask:
What is included in this package?
What is excluded?
Which charges are third-party disbursements?
Could those charges change?
What are the current transport zones?
What happens if I move interstate?
What happens if I die outside your normal service area?
Can the contract be transferred?
What happens if I change my preferences?
Is this simply a funeral plan or a prepaid funeral contract?
Where is prepaid money held?
What cooling-off rights apply?
What is the total amount payable?
NSW Fair Trading requires an itemised quote before a customer enters into a funeral agreement.
Do not feel pressured to sign before you understand the contract.
Common Funeral Pre-Planning Mistakes
Keeping Everything Only in Your Will
Your Will may be read too late for funeral planning.
Share funeral wishes separately.
Assuming Every Wish Is Legally Binding
Most funeral wishes are not legally binding in NSW.
The written direction against cremation is an important exception.
Assuming Planning Means You Have Prepaid
It does not.
Planning and payment are separate decisions.
Paying Without Reading the Contract
Understand inclusions, exclusions, service area, cancellation rights and what happens if circumstances change.
Not Telling Anyone
A detailed plan is only useful if someone knows it exists.
Choosing Songs Without Identifying the Version
Different recordings of the same song can be very different.
Record artist and version.
Forgetting About Ashes
If choosing cremation, think about what you would prefer to happen after the cremation.
Overplanning Every Detail
Leave room for family if you want them to have some choice.
You can write:
“These are preferences rather than strict instructions except where clearly stated.”
Never Updating the Plan
An old address, unavailable cemetery or outdated contact can create confusion.
How to Plan Your Own Funeral Without Prepaying
You can complete almost the entire planning process without entering a funeral contract.
For example:
Decide cremation or burial
Choose preferred service style
Record viewing preference
Choose music
Record cultural/religious wishes
Identify preferred venue
Record speakers/readings
Write ashes or memorial preferences
Tell your executor/family
Keep the plan accessible
Then your family can compare current funeral providers and prices when the service is eventually needed.
This approach gives guidance without committing today to a specific financial product.
Can You Change Your Funeral Wishes Later?
Yes.
A funeral plan is not something you need to write once and never revisit.
Your preferences may change because of:
New relationships
Moving
Religion
Financial circumstances
Health
Changes in funeral services
Availability of cemetery or cremation options
Update your document and tell the relevant people.
If you have entered a formal prepaid contract, however, changing the contracted services is a separate issue and will depend on the contract and applicable NSW funeral-fund rules. Prepaid contracts are legal documents with their own variation, transfer and cancellation provisions.
What If Your Family Disagrees With Your Funeral Wishes?
Clear communication can reduce uncertainty, but it cannot guarantee that disagreements will never happen.
Start by discussing the wishes before they are needed.
Explain:
What matters most to you
Which elements are flexible
Which preferences are especially important
Why you made certain choices
Also understand the NSW legal position.
Most funeral instructions are not binding on the executor, although a written direction against cremation must be observed.
If your wishes are especially important or your family circumstances are complex, consider appropriate legal advice rather than relying only on an informal document.
How to Make Your Funeral Plan Easy to Use
A good plan should be understandable by someone reading it during a difficult week.
Use clear headings:
Disposition
Service
Viewing
Venue
Religion/Culture
Music
Speakers
Flowers
Memorial
Ashes
Costs/Prepayment
Important Contacts
Then add:
Prepared by:
Your name
Last updated:
Date
Copies held by:
Names
Funeral director/prepaid contract:
Details if applicable
Avoid burying the critical decisions in several pages of emotional writing.
Clarity is more useful than formality.
How to Plan Your Own Funeral: Keep the Plan Clear and Accessible
The most important part of learning how to plan your own funeral is not choosing the perfect song, coffin or venue.
It is making your important preferences clear and findable.
Decide what matters to you.
Write it down.
Tell the people who may eventually organise the funeral.
Understand that a funeral plan is different from a prepaid funeral contract.
Keep funeral wishes accessible rather than relying only on your Will.
Review costs before signing an agreement.
And update the plan when your circumstances change.
You do not have to plan every detail, and planning ahead cannot guarantee that every future circumstance will unfold exactly as expected.
But a clear document can give the people arranging your funeral far more information than:
“I don't know what they would have wanted.”
For broader funeral-planning information, Black Tulip's Complete Funeral Planning Guide covers cremation, services and memorial choices, while 12 Essential Steps to Plan a Funeral explains the practical process when a death has already occurred.